50 Best Meathead Quotes from 'All In the Family'
- - 50 Best Meathead Quotes from 'All In the Family'
Christina IzzoDecember 16, 2025 at 1:11 AM
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Long before he was the acclaimed director of such classic films as This Is Spinal Tap, Stand by Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally..., Misery and A Few Good Men, among others,Rob Reiner was an actor-comedian known for his award-winning work as Mike "Meathead" Stivic on the iconic CBSsitcomAll in the Family.
Over the show's nine-season run from 1971 to 1979, Reiner took home two Primetime Emmys for his performance as the Polish-American hippie husband of Gloria Bunker (Sally Struthers) who regularly butts heads with his "lovable bigot" father-in-law Archie, played by the legendary Carroll O'Connor. (Unsurprisingly, it's the Bunker patriarch who gives Mike that infamous nickname of "Meathead.")
The pioneering series got many of its comedic moments from the men's culture-clash feuds, as well as Mike's interactions with both his wife and sweet mother-in-law Edith (Jean Stapleton), but balanced out those laughs with its frank, thoughtful approach to social issues like racism, homosexuality, women's rights and the nature of war.
In tribute to the late Rob Reinier — who was tragically found dead alongside his wife Michele Singer Reiner in their Los Angeles home on December 14, 2025 — here are 50 of Mike "Meathead" Stivic's most memorable quotes from the classic sitcom All in the Family.
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50 Best Meathead Quotes From All in the Family -
1. "She's a shrimp. And that hair. She looks like the warden pardoned her after he threw the switch."
2. "You were right, Honey, I am a meathead. Not only that, I'm a pompous ass."
3. "That's what I'm going to miss most -- your eloquent verbalization of total absurdity."
4. "You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen."
5. "I just thank God I'm an atheist.".
6. "I'm being very irrational! That is the way I get when I am not being told the truth! My eyes bug out! My fists start to clench and I just feel like hitting something!"
7. "You better call your company nurse, who I'm sure is a token Eskimo!"
8. "I'd explain it to you, Arch, but first you'd have to move your brain ahead two centuries."
9. "We're going to see something you know nothing about: culture."
10. "You can't do that, Archie! That's largesse!"
Related: What Rob Reiner Told ‘All in the Family’ Guest Star Before the Famous ‘Draft Dodger’ Christmas Episode
The cast from "All in the Family.Photo by CBS Photo Archive on Getty Images -
11. "Do you realize you are totally incomprehensible?"
12. "...just a little indigestion. Comes from eating his own words."
13. "But criticism is the whole point of this game! There's no fun without it!"
14. "Remember what you once said to me in this kitchen? You told me, that the only reason that Archie got mad at me all the time was, because he was jealous of the fact that I had all the opportunities that he never had. He resented me because, he never had a chance to better himself. And now he's got that chance, Ma. In Archie's mind, it's a chance for him to be somebody."
15. "I like to take care of one foot at a time."
16. "Next year it's supposed to go up another 8 percent. That's 20 percent. Archie thinks he's 15 percent ahead. But he's already 5 percent behind."
17. "You know something? I swear I think you do these things sometimes just to eat my heart out. And that's just what you do. Little by little, piece by piece, you eat my heart out!"
18. "[Dialing the phone] What else? You only gave me six numbers...One of those numbers was a sneeze. Do you see a sneeze on this dial?"
19. "Say it louder, Arch, Sgt. Pulaski didn't hear you."
20. "Too bad you couldn't vote for your real favorite, Jerry Reagan."
Related: Rob Reiner Made a Rare Appearance on ‘The Partridge Family’ Before ‘All in the Family’ Changed Everything
CBS via Getty Images -
21. "How many times have I told you I don't believe in violence?! [Picks up baseball bat]
22. "You got the wrong guy! The guy we're looking for is good looking!
23. "Why are you always bothered by a simple show of affection?"
24. "Did you ever hear of fraud? Did you ever hear of going to jail?"
25. "Ya know, Mr. Bunker, when I first met you, I thought I misjudged you... And I was right, I did midjudge you... You're a lot more ignorant than I thought."
26. [About Twinkies] "It's kind of a WASP soul food."
27. "Yes he was, Arch. My old man used to call people the same things as your old man. But I knew he was wrong. So is your old man."
28. "Good night, Shoebootie."
29. "Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate. Watergate!"
30. "I didn't say I like it, it's just I'm used to it. My body's used to it. When Archie's here, I eat better."
Related: ‘All in the Family’ Star Sally Struthers Was Fired From Her First Big TV Role — But It Was a Blessing in Disguise
Rob Reiner and Sally Struthers in 'All in the Family.' Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images -
31. "I think I'll give her a hand...and then I'll give her the other hand."
32. "Archie, if I killed that murderer, would that bring Gloria back? No. An eye for an eye is not the answer. The problem rests with society."
33. "How could a can of cling peaches do so much damage?"
34. "Archie, if you have your doubts, why don't you just ask him for his credentials?...You just walk up to him, and say, "Father, can I see your cross?"
35. "I don't care. I don't want her. I want you."
36. "Ma, what we're arguing about is a little more important than maple syrup."
37. "You! You! Gahhhhhhh. [Storms out.]"
38. "Well lately there hasn't been much blushing in this family and I don't mean me and Gloria. Figure it out. I'm so embarrassed!"
39. "Why do you always have to talk stupid?"
40. "When I move outta here tomorrow I'm gonna feel like a guy who just served a 5-year sentence!"
Related: Why Rob Reiner Credits Andy Griffith for ‘All in the Family’ Role
The cast of "All in the Family" in 1972.Photo by CBS Photo Archive on Getty Images -
41. "I think we just heard 'Archie Bunker's Bicentennial Minute.'"
42. "Right now, there are a lot of elephants that feel like jackasses."
43. "Actually, your father is on his best behavior tonight. He only called me an 'unbeautiful thing'. Could've called me an 'unbeautiful Polack.'"
44. "You come from a long line of boneheads!"
45. "In today's society, if something doesn't work, you throw it out.
46. "You're out of jail courtesy of your friends, Arch. The pinkos, the meatheads and the freaks"
47. "Arch, not everyone is gonna run off to a commune, don't you see? It's a question of each man doing his own thing. Your thing just happens to be grubbing for a living in this polluted, grime-ridden city."
48. "Did you ever think that possibly your father just might be wrong?"
49. "You know, Arch, you oughta be in the Guinness Book of World Records? 'Most Stupid Remarks Made in a Single Day'!
50. "Gloria, will you hurry it up? Your father's got me in another one of his stupid arguments!"
Next, From 'I Love Lucy' to 'Schitt's Creek,'These Are the 30 Best Sitcoms of All Time
This story was originally published by Parade on Dec 16, 2025, where it first appeared in the TV section. Add Parade as a Preferred Source by clicking here.
Source: “AOL Entertainment”
